Secret Agent Artist

(ITALICS SUNG)
Here’s the thing about Haircuts.
Here’s the thing about Haircuts.
You never know
what you are going
to get - when you get your
hair cut….

Why.

I’m known everywhere
and that’s the first thing they ever say:

Why.

Why d’you do it girl?
Why d’you hurt the one you love?
Why d’you take away his strength?

Why.

Why, why, why?
Delilah. Delilah like a
knife in gut, Delilah like a
poisonous snake.
Why, why, why?
Delilah. Delilah who
they’d all want dead.

I loved Samson.
I loved him like an insect loves
the kiss of flame. I loved him like a
mother loves a child she’s grown
like a child returns a parent’s gaze
I loved Samson.
Delilah loved Samson.
And then it all went wrong.
But things were never like they said…

Lately and for various different reasons, it has been necessary for me to write various different bios about myself. It occured to me that together, some of these could constitute a poem, this is it’s first draft, as always, constructive crit welcome….

Available for Weddings and Bar Mitzvahs

Lydia Towsey is a poet and spoken word artist. In the past her work has examined body image, sex and relationships. Her heroes include deliberately provocative female performers, like Eve Ensler and Lydia Lunch. She is available for Weddings and Bar Mitzvahs…

Lydia Towsey has been called the first angry girl of poetry. Her writing collides boho chic with intelligent gender based inquiry. It grows out of her real life and is about being honest. She performs at venues across the UK. She is reasonably priced. She is available for Weddings and Bar Mitzvahs…

Lydia Towsey prefers her bicycle to most people. Mainly because most people keep nicking it. She is short tempered and prone to theatrical demonstrations of radical feminism…which often appear to offend, amuse or alienate her audiences. She is available for Weddings and Bar Mitzvahs…

Lydia is a poet with blog dependency issues and no pets. She writes to work things out. Occasionally people pay her. She runs various projects across her home town of Leicester. She balances occasional delusions of grandeur, with crippling insecurity. She is available for Weddings and Bar Mitzvahs…

One more thing about last night. As I said in the post below, I freestyled for the first time! Was very buzzy. It’s a high risk thing to do - if it goes well that’s great-but if not…there is the dying in front of your peers to consider! Saying that, at a night like yesterdays every knows that - so no one would take the piss anyway. Below is my attempt to remember what my freestyled poem was. It’s quite a bit different as I can’t remember the exact words, but it was kind of like this…

Words: Enchiladas, Donkey, Traveling, Energy, Food.

Jesus’ Girlfriend.

I like food
but I don’t like enchiladas.
They’re too spicy for me.
They drain all my energy
and I don’t travel well
when I eat them.

Donkeys hate me
and horses too
they always have
I have to take the bus,
’cause when it comes to donkeys
I just can’t trust-

I think it’s their Sombreros.
You should never trust a creature
that looks like it could eat a
spicy enchilada.
No - I don’t like donkeys
and donkey’s don’t like me-

if I was with Jesus…
I don’t think it would work.

Just figured Pineapster out, so-should you want to hear me perform Sharon’s Hair or, for that matter Get Your Tits Out, click here….