Under a Button Moon.

December 10, 2006

Today, I went into my local haberdashery and spent twenty four pounds and fifty eight pence on buttons. This twenty four pounds and fifty eight pence was in addition to the seventeen pounds and thirty three pence, I spent in a different local haberdashery the day before yesterday. Also on buttons.

I’m wondering whether this makes me the button equivalent of a hardened drug user; visiting numerous chemists to tank up on Nightnurse. It leaves most sane people wondering whether I am in fact a hardened drug user, tanked up on Nightnurse and having lost all possession of my wits.

I’ve decided to make necklaces out of buttons to give as Christmas presents to all my girl friends. I decided to do this because I was under the vain impression that doing so would save me a large amount of money. I also decided it would result in all my girl friends becoming insanely happy, imagining me to have spent hours labouring over individual works of art for them.

I have not saved loads of money, I have spent over forty-one pounds fifty. I have not saved loads of time as they take bloody ages to make. I do not think that my friends will be insanely happy, I think they will unwrap their gift from me and wonder why I would have chosen to give them five plastic buttons as a mark of my regard.

This year I will be going to no Christmas parties. I will be sitting in my living room night after night, threading buttons onto platted wire. If any of my girl friends have a problem with buttons, they should say so now. I have made one necklace out of buttons. I have approximately nine necklaces made out of buttons to go.

Buttons, buttons, buttons.


11 Responses to “Under a Button Moon.”

  1. i am envious of your buttons lydia …

    i got some recently – also for christmas presents – and i got them from a charity shop – a jar full for 50p but all odd and secondhand – not suitable for lovely necklaces …

    sure your friends will be delighted with them


  2. catherine said

    How strange, I just posted a button haiku on my blog. I hav a great fondness for button jars, collected over years. I think of Ted Kosser’s poem which starts “this is a core sample/ from the sea of mending”

  3. Fort one pounds fifty!!????!!!

    ??? !!! ???





  4. Hey Ivory-the buttons ARE lovely. I’m trial running the first necklace at work today and so far so good. I bet you could still make some nice ones with the ones you’ve got-especially if you mixed them with some snazzier ones. I’ve heard Leicester Market might be the place to go…

    Hi Catherine-that IS weird, seems like there are buttons in the air. Love the jar picture-wonder if it looks anything like the one fishbone bought? The Tom Kosser quote is beautiful-I’ll have to track down the whole thing, thanks for mentioning it.

    Damien. You NEVER read my blog and then you do-at exactly the wrong time! OK, I KNOW it sounds alot but remember what I was saying about building my first million on the back of a button? You’ve got to speculate to accumulate. Big picture Damien. Big picture.


  5. i think damien needs some training in prosperity thinking …

  6. I always read your blog.

    Its the best means available for gathering evidence of your misdemeanors.

    I just skip the poems.

  7. jimbo83 said

    I read your piece on buttons this morning Lydia, and although it was grey, wet and miserable outside it really brightened up my day!

    I’ve got this mental picture of you in my head now spending hour upon hour alone, making these necklaces and quietly cursing to yourself when something goes slightly wrong. However I’m sure it will all be worth it in the end. πŸ™‚ All I can say is that I’m “sew” pleased that I found this “thread”. (Sorry, can’t think of any more bad button based puns right now!)

    Oh, by the way I think that I ought to stand up for Damien whilst I’m here purely for the following three reasons:-

    a) Forty one pounds fifty does sound like an awful lot of money for some buttons, are they medallion sized or gold plated perhaps?

    b) I feel the need to defend my fellow male compatriot in a world full of button loving females and

    c) I haven’t yet thanked Damien for taking the time to explain to me what happens in a slam poetry contest, whilst I was at Bambu Bar last week.

    Hope I haven’t just alienated myself from the majority here now.

    Happy buttoning πŸ™‚

  8. Damien. Glad to hear you skip the poems-that’s where I keep all the secrets!


    a) The buttons ARE in some cases medallion sized and possibly even magic.

    b) Don’t be misled into thinking Damien is like other boys. Anyway, most boys are silly and don’t know anything.

    c) Thank him by bringing him to his senses. A world without buttons would be a sad thing indeed.

    BTW, Thanks for stopping by!

  9. Dana said

    Nightnurse? What’s that?

  10. catherine said

    Lydia, if you can’t find the button poem, let me know and I will e-mail it to you. I don’t want to post it on the web because of copyright. It was on Poetry Daily a while back, but they only archive for a year, I think it was before that.

  11. Hey Dana. Guess it must be a UK thing. Night Nurse is a cold and flu remedy designed to be taken at night to aid sleep…also taken by hardcore alcoholics seeking obilvion when vodka and Special Brew (perhaps another UK brand?) are too expensive or not enough.

    Hi Catherine. I managed to find it – but you’re right, it wasn’t exactly rolling down the pages of Google. The whole thing is wonderful – a sea populated by women making ‘small but important repairs’. That and the first line will particularly stick with me. I’m going to look up the rest of his stuff, so thanks for letting me know about him:)

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