A final apology

January 30, 2007

Thanks so much to those who gave crit. This very slightly adapted version is the finished piece

I want an apology.
For the gloss wrapped varnish
of womans magazines.

For the fish slick pages
of fake dreams;
models like cars,

with their red, slashed
gloss of beguiling charms,
come hither dressed in

children’s jeans.
I want an apology
for the girl,

splaying the weight of her thighs
on a gym seat, frowning in a mirror
and connecting up the

place at which they meet with
skimming the calories in breakfast.
I want an apology – for the long-fast

of the woman shivering in spring,
examining her wrists
like a witch through railings.

For the witch,
who’s really just a
woman over 30,

trying to hide
the lines that she’s made
whilst falling in love and

breaking her heart and
having a future.
I want an apology-

for The Snow Queen –
happy to be childless
and The White Witch –

carving a world
from the ribs of the man
who’d been thinking he’d made her.

For the blood on her gown
and the hooves in her face
and the maw of a lion.

For Medusa
and Delilah,
and the old crone,

and the weird sister-
and for the 4 siblings
that couldn’t all be

Cinderella:
for the women who fall
so she can stand

I want an apology.
Sometime. Anytime.
Now.

7 Responses to “A final apology”

  1. lifewords said

    Very, very nice.

  2. Bitterangel said

    Hi, Lydia. I like the poem, I like its momentum and imagery, but the last strope deflates the whole thing for me. I think it’s not needed. The cinderella bit is a great bit to end on, or if you need something unifying, I’d suggest you find a unifying image. As it stands the ending seems petulant and reduces the impact of the rest of the poem: I felt as if I’d been let off the hook, which probably isn’t the effect you were after. Sorry to be negative; it’s a strong piece overall.

    Just my two cents.

  3. Adagio said

    Prior to me notating my response to your poem; I wish to preface by writing that I enjoy reading your blog. In addition, I respond with generalities with the below comment. I aim to share opinions with an open heart, mind, and soul. Thank you for sharing your words; and thank you for letting me enter your domain. Below is the comment I wish to share regarding your poem:

    “The projector beaming on a white wall
    issuing illusions; casting confusion
    yet, if one is to view
    and assume the reflection
    lost in wonderment they become
    wishing upon a falling star
    for apologies and such
    as they turn the page, flip the channel, engage…
    in insignificant, pop-cultural, social rubbish.” – Adagio

  4. ivoryfishbone said

    i think that is a good point bitterangel has …

    not sure i understand what adagio is saying tho ….

    xxx

  5. Alex and Fishbone-thankyou. I’ve said it before but feedback-when given like this is so helpful. I’ve just finished a redraft (yes, I know, I don’t sleep, I’m like the undead) hopefully it’s better.

    Adagio. Thanks for your kind words about my blog. I like you coming over too 🙂

    Your poem’s really interesting and it’s lovely that my work should have prompted you to generate a piece-I’m frequently influenced by other peoples blogs – as things people have said become material to feed on, as valid as a season, or object, or idea. I remember when Jane Poe wrote about her back pain, I wrote about an infection I had at the time (Monkey Gone Wrong).

    Your writing in response to a poem, also kind of makes me think of the pieces I wrote in response to the Walker Evans photo’s, posted earlier in my blog (see Wales achive)…not that I’m any Walker Evans, of course!

    I’d appreciate a little more detail on the meanings in your piece. Who for instance are ‘they’? Those seeking the apology, or those generating the need for it?

    Thanks again everyone, the thoughts are much appreciated

  6. Adagio said

    The projector beaming on a white wall
    [propaganda playing out in various mediums in life for our viewing pleasure and to keep our attention on the trivial]

    issuing illusions; casting confusion
    [fantasy can be hypnotizing and this is what is given to us in pop-culture; however we see it as reality]

    yet, if one is to view
    and assume the reflection
    [one who is emulating what is within sight upon the surface]

    lost in wonderment they become
    [dazed and confused in hypothetical emulated reality; yet expecting explanation]

    wishing upon a falling star
    for apologies and such
    [asking for understanding of why things are the way that they are and demanding apologies; however not change]

    as they turn the page, flip the channel, engage
    in insignificant, pop-cultural, social rubbish
    [the cycle continues without change in behaviors]

    ‘They’ is equivalent to those generating the need for apology.

  7. mannabozo said

    This is a fantastic, strong poem.
    Which I would loved to hear read aloud
    on the mic somewhere.

    The blood on the gown, indeed.

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