monologue

February 9, 2010

I’m actually in love.
And I built up the courage
and asked her out.
But she said no –
but then she started following me around
around the aisles,
everytime I went in
she works in Sainsburies
she’s been working there
for about 4 years, or something like that
I’ve been going in there for longer
so I know you see.
She looks like
Alanis Morrisette
you know she’s got this
dark hair
and she wears it in this
long side plait.
her name’s lisa
I saw it on her name tag.
Anyway. I’ve been going in there
all this time and around about christmas
i finally plucked up the courage
and I don’t think I’d have done it
but it just seemed like
the perfect time
or maybe I just got carried away
there was this ice rink, outside
and you could see it
through the sliding doors
with people skating on it
and it was really dark, about 5’oclock
with all the Christmas lights turned on
and the lights inside the store
just suddenly seemed to turn
romantic
and she was serving me on checkout number 6
and she was just asking me to put my card in the machine
and I said it,
it wasn’t anything heavy
i just asked her
if she’d like to go for a drink sometime
with me, maybe
next Thursday, after work
if she was working
and I think the woman behind me in the queue
was listening
and she said no.
Lisa I mean.
She said she couldn’t date customers
and i just said,
oh, right, yeah.
of course,
and i put my card in the machine
and put my numbers in
and she didn’t say anything else
just gave me my receipt
and I picked my bag up and left.
but she smiled at me you know.
and looked really sorry.
Anyway, since then,
for about the last 3 months
she’s still been
following me around
everytime I go up an ailse
she’ll be there
with her basket,
re-stocking the shelf
or writing stuff up on this little thing
this computer panel thing
and I’ll just pretend to be
completely focused on my shopping.
But I kind of think she’s still smiling at me
and I don’t think she’s got a boyfriend because
my mum, right,
she rang me up and told me
that’d she’d seen her,
when she was in there
and she’d seen her
finishing her shift and being picked up
by a woman, like her sister or a friend
but never a guy, or man,
or someone she might be with.
Everytime I see her i get nervous.
and when I talk to her
to ask her where the pizza is
or the milk
or the baked beans
I can feel my heart go faster
and when she tells me
I think that really
she might be saying something else
like – she does like me.
So I’m just going to carry on going in there
and see what happens
like you never know.
I can’t stop thinking about her.
I’m in love.

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