Addicted to Viewings (first draft)

November 27, 2011

It’s something about the way
you rightmove.com,
something about the way
two clicks to the one –

something about the way you do…
multiple searches for mid terrace properties,

I might as well face it
I’m addicted to viewings.

It’s Saturday night
and I’m on the computer,
tapping in miles
and punching in postcodes.

I’m looking for a match
forget about the com,
a spacious town house,
a place in a loft.

I’d like a garage
and a garden
and a room with a view,
an aga in the kitchen
and a cellar
and a pool.

Forget about the fact
I’ve got the budget for a terrace.
Forget about the morgage,
forget about the credit.

Forget about the houses,
forget about the moving

I might as well face it
I’m addicted to viewings.

And here is the hallway.
Here is the kitchen.
This is the master.
Here is the boxroom.

Here is the box room
with all it’s potential,
you could fit a double bed
in any direction.

Ah you’ve noticed the flooring –
yes sorry about that..
the yard’s overlooked
by 15 flats.

It’s a south facing lounge,
with the view of a wall.
It’s an investment property
so best not stall.

And I’m writing down numbers.
I’ve got a hobby like a habit.
I’ve got property porn.
I’m addicted to adverts.

‘Conveniently placed’,
means near somewhere better.

‘Attractively presented’
means recently painted.

It’s a ‘popular suburb’
so expect overcrowding.

‘A comfortable home’
so adjust expectations.

‘Ideal for first time buyers’:
you couldn’t swing a poodle.

‘Original flooring’:
will need renovation.

But it’s something about the way
you can peruse the unfamiliar,
something about the way
you meet so many people –

something about the way…
a Victorian fireplace looks so lovely in Spring –

I might as well face it
I’m addicted to viewings.

I’ve been bitten by the bug.
I’m a mainlined search.
I’m browsing all night.
I can barely go to work.

I’m glued to the glass of
estate agent windows,
I’m clicking and ringing
I’m doing the limbo.

I’m visiting lounges
vacated of sofas,
I’m walking through walls
of a strangers photos.

If I ever bought a place
I’d just have to move –

I might as well face it
I’m addicted to viewings.

Yes I might as well face it
I’m addicted to viewings.

Yes I might as well face it

I’m addicted, to viewings.

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