Reasons not to get a dog

May 28, 2012

They’re colour blind
so won’t ever appreciate your dress sense
and will never be able to drive,
they don’t live very long,
chocolate kills them,
they can’t talk
and so in this respect
a budgerigar is better;
they lick their bums in public,
will shag trees,
the floor,
anything that doesn’t move,
the legs of visitors,
you can’t go on holiday,
there is always the possibility
of a dog poo
in a train station foyer,
you can’t leave home
without a
small plastic bag
and when they die,
I hear from my uncle in London
and my uncle in Switzerland,
it’s like losing
a member of the family.

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