Dear Zombie John

August 7, 2013

Dear Darling,

It has come to my attention
that despite our best intentions
our relationship of late
has changed.

It’s not that I don’t love you
It’s just it hard to hug you
when you no longer wash
or smell the same.

I don’t want to sound superficial
beauty is only skin deep
but biting is quite anti-social
Baby – you’re turning into a creep.

I can’t help but notice
that your teeth are falling out
I won’t mention the halitosis
but you’ve sewn the seeds of doubt

and I don’t want to mention the Z word
but something’s can’t be ignored
when I caught you eating the neighbour’s cat,
you were no longer the man I adored.

Your clothes are all hanging in tatters
and why can’t you just clip your nails
what other people think doesn’t matter
but you’re turning increasingly pale.

Dear Darling, you used to be a vegetarian
now you scorn my cauliflower bake.
Darling, you use to find me attractive
now you only want me for my brains.

Darling, I have to question your motives
when you follow me round the house,
it’s really quite unnerving,
this game of cat and mouse.

You’re backing me into a corner
and I don’t like the look in your eye,
your shuffle, that was once a saunter
makes something inside of me die.

It seems a harsh conclusion
but let’s have no confusion
Baby, I don’t want your loving bites

As I watch you drool
it does seem cruel
but it isn’t always possible to be nice.

Dear Darling, I know it’s the worst kind of break up
but things have definitely taken a turn
Dear Darling, my love, it’s the worst kind of ending
but all you seem to do now is moan.

It’s just no use.
It’s not me, it’s you.
I’ve guessed the truth after all.

I’m going to have to
cut off your head.
Because, I think
you’re already dead

Dear Darling.
It’s over.
Goodbye.