Delilah

August 5, 2007

(ITALICS SUNG)
Here’s the thing about Haircuts.
Here’s the thing about Haircuts.
You never know
what you are going
to get – when you get your
hair cut….

Why.

I’m known everywhere
and that’s the first thing they ever say:

Why.

Why d’you do it girl?
Why d’you hurt the one you love?
Why d’you take away his strength?

Why.

Why, why, why?
Delilah. Delilah like a
knife in gut, Delilah like a
poisonous snake.
Why, why, why?
Delilah. Delilah who
they’d all want dead.

I loved Samson.
I loved him like an insect loves
the kiss of flame. I loved him like a
mother loves a child she’s grown
like a child returns a parent’s gaze
I loved Samson.
Delilah loved Samson.
And then it all went wrong.
But things were never like they said…

Sharon’s Hair

May 11, 2007

I spend a lot o’time on me ‘air
A lot o’time and a lot of money
You got to really int ya?
Make an effort.
Look at Madonna
She’s got lovely ‘air int she?
All golden and pretty like.
Barrel curls,
that’s how they do her ‘air at the moment.
Read it in me ‘air magazine, din’I?
Course, she’s one of them
chameeelions, int she?
She’s been reinventing
for decades.
Read that in me ‘air magazine too
course, y’can see that for yourself, can’t ya?
Her air’s been more colours than
my bathroom and we like decorating,
me and me husband. I like it blonde I do.
I’m glad she’s back to blonde again.

She’s ‘ad it black.
I’ve ‘ad me ‘air black before.
Didn’t like it tho.
Makes ya look ever so pale,
ever so ill.
I used to be a blonde.
Makes ya feel ‘appy.
All golden and pretty like.

Got a few blondes out ere tonight int we.
Put your ‘and up if yer blonde.
Bitches.

But it’s nice init?
I use to be a blonde.
Used to get called
The Leggy Blonde-
at parties. Me husband ‘ated it though-
Not like that- s’not the jealous type,
just said it made me look
a bit sallow. Bit ill.
It did a bit.
Y’got to ‘ave one o’them
pink undertones in yer skin
to carry blonde off.
Like Madonna ‘as
Read that in me magazine an’all.

I feel dead sorry for me husband y’know.
‘is ‘air’s started falling out, int it.
I was reading this article-
in me ‘air magazine
about – alopecia-
which is this
‘air condition,
where all yer air falls out
Gail Porrter ‘ad it dint she.
Gail Porter’s lovely int she?
She used to ‘av lovely ‘air,
all golden and – lovely.
Then it all fell out.
She’s as bald as a billard now.
Puts a brave face on it though,
bless her.
Saw her in Cosmo,
she don’t like wearing wigs
she likes to be – natural,
seys it gives her more confidence-
‘cause she int got anything to be ashamed of,
bless her.

Thought of asking me husband
bout getin’ a wig. It’s nicer tho ain’t it?
Better than all that scalp.
And they make ‘em dead good nowadays.
Dead realistic.

Don’t think he’d go for it though.
Probably for the best.
He’d only ‘ave to take it off at night
and he’d be all bald again.
and it be ever so dissapointing.
I think he should just shave it all off
and be done with.

Britney Spears.
She shaved hers off dint she?
Looked terrible though dint it?
See her in Heat?
Oh-she looked terrible.
I think it looks better on men-
don’t it? Looks a bit –
Lesbian, on woman,
Bit butch.
Bit manly.

I like women looking like woman.
All blonde and nice, like Madonna.
She’s got lovely ‘air she ‘as….